Since Lucy’s clearly not going to get anywhere with Jack, her handsome work crush (at least not for now), she turns her attention back to Josh, the sweet but slightly eccentric Geography teacher from Northampton with whom she’s had three dates.
If you need a recap on what happened last time, read Part 3 – Suggestion.
The dates seemed to go well enough, but Lucy’s still very much undecided. On one hand, Josh seems to be a great guy. He’s intelligent, a little quirky in an interesting way, and doesn’t play games. He’s also tall, slim, and has intense aqua-coloured eyes that make Lucy want to dive right in.
But on the other… Yep, of course there’s a ‘But’. There’s always a cunting ‘But’. Because lovely though Josh is, Lucy’s not at all sure he’s the one for her. He has a kid and would like to have more. He lives far away. And their lifestyles and interests are vastly different: Josh wants to go camping, potter in his garden, and bake organic vegan tarts, while Lucy wants to go on African safaris, hike to Everest Base Camp, and eat fillet steak in fancy restaurants. But most importantly of all, because after three dates, she’s just still not feeling it. No butterflies, no racing pulse, no excitement at all.
Surely this is a sign, right? Or will he grow on her? And exactly how much time should Lucy reasonably spend trying to find these things out without wasting her time, or his?
For now, she feels it’s ok to carry on. They’ve only had three dates, and he’s certainly still keen to keep seeing her…
Josh may be a sensible geography teacher, but he’s very clearly also a red-blooded male whose mind is not always entirely focused on weather patterns and plate tectonics.
Bless him, Lucy thinks. He’s just a decent guy trying to do the right thing. She realises that dating can probably be just as much of a minefield for men (at least, the nice ones) as it is for women.
In spite of his slightly clumsy way of approaching it, the thought of sex with Josh does interest her. For a start, he’s an excellent kisser, and she hasn’t seen any bedroom action since her last encounter with Adam, her disappointing former FWB. So when, for their fourth date, Josh somewhat daringly invites himself round to her place, she accepts. Will the earth move with the Geography Teacher? Will the plates shift and the hot magma rise? There’s really only one way to find out.
He’s due to arrive on Saturday evening at 7 o’clock. Lucy spends the day pottering about, doing useful things like going to the gym, running the epilator over her bikini line (fucking OUCH), and gently trolling Brexiteers on Twitter. It’s a pleasant enough way to spend a day, and TBH if Josh called up and said he wasn’t going to make it after all, she wouldn’t even be that bothered. He’s a nice guy, but she really doesn’t have the major feels you’d expect when you’re potentially going to have sex with someone for the first time. And since it was him who invited himself over, she’s decided she’s not going to go to too much trouble. She’s certainly not going to cook, and if he wants to stay, he can sleep in the bloody spare room.
Her general meh attitude is compounded when Josh texts to say he’s running about an hour late. He’s been spending the day with his son and got caught up dropping him off. Lucy’s unimpressed – she knows kids can be unpredictable little fuckers, but that should hardly come as a surprise to anyone who’s ever met one. No, this is simply down to bad planning and poor management. Minus ten points, Josh.
She feels better when he finally shows up because he has at least had the good sense to bring wine with him (if he hadn’t, she might well have turned him away TBH). And he’s looking cute – a little dishevelled as usual, in clothes that were never in fashion and have clearly seen better days, but taller than she remembers, slim and toned in an outdoorsy way, a little grizzled round the edges, and of course, those amazing blue eyes.
He comes inside and takes off his coat. He doesn’t kiss her. This is not a good start.
They head for the kitchen and Lucy opens the wine. Josh awkwardly tries to make polite conversation: how are you, how was your day, I like your flat, the sort of yawn-inducing chitchat you might have with a neighbour who’s popped round to borrow some sugar, not with someone who has invited himself over with the express intention of ripping your clothes off and giving you a jolly good banging. Lucy swiftly downs her first glass in the hope it’ll help her relax so they can move on to that part a little quicker.
Since he arrived an hour late Lucy’s hungry, so they order a takeaway curry, and while they wait for it to arrive they sit in the living room and drink wine. He still hasn’t kissed her. Instead Josh takes a look at the books on her shelf, then spots her old photo albums and picks one up, flicking through the pages and commenting on some of the photos. For a second Lucy panics that he’s chosen one that’s full of loved-up photos of her and The Ex, which would probably be a bit of a mood-killer (not that there’s much in the way of a ‘mood’ right now) but happily he’s chosen a recent one. All the same, it’s a little disconcerting: no one is really interested in looking at someone else’s holiday snaps, are they?
The food arrives. Still no kiss, and Lucy wishes he’d get the fuck on with it. She wonders why he hasn’t. Does he not want to? Is he shy or nervous? Does he think it wouldn’t be appropriate? Maybe in this era of #MeToo he’s not sure how to behave, even though this is the fourth date, and they’ve kissed plenty of times before. Maybe Lucy should just take off all her clothes and see how he reacts.
After they’ve eaten they move back to the sofa and Lucy opens a second bottle of wine. With the help of alcohol she’s feeling far more relaxed. Josh suggests putting some music on, and offers up his phone to the Bluetooth speaker. Lucy fears his music collection will be full of weird hippy folk music, pan pipes and wind chimes and the like, but she lets him go ahead anyway, and is relieved when he puts on some quite catchy stuff by a ska/jazz band she’s never heard of called The Cat Empire which soon gets her toe tapping.
It may not quite be mood music, but it seems to do the trick for Josh, because he comes back to the sofa, sits down and – finally! – leans in, very tentatively, and kisses her.
It’s a very gentle kiss, but it immediately gets Lucy’s juices flowing (though that might also have something to do with the wine and the fact that she hasn’t had sex in millennia). She allows him just a very little taste, and then pulls away, teasingly. He stops and sits back, misunderstanding. “Is that ok, can I kiss you?”
“Of course it’s ok,” she tells him, surprised that he would even need to ask.
“Oh, well I don’t want you to think that I came here just to kiss you – or to have sex.” He looks at her, the lie clearly written all over his face.
“That’d be ok, you know. If you came all this way just to kiss me.”
He kisses her again, properly this time. He goes slowly at first, a super soft and gentle kiss that sets her heart exploding and her stomach flipping and her lady parts bursting into song. As he feels her respond he ups the ante, kissing her with more intent and – to be frank – a bit too much tongue. Lucy discovers that when he does this, if she gently pulls back a little, he stops doing it. It’s a bit like training a puppy. Except hopefully he’s not going to wee on the carpet.
The sofa isn’t the best place for things to progress, so they move into Lucy’s bedroom and now, finally, the geography lesson becomes an anatomy class. Tops come off, and Lucy’s thrilled to discover that underneath the scruffy, dorky geography teacher exterior is the body of an outdoor adventurer: smooth, lightly tanned skin, flat stomach, toned muscles, a little hair on his chest but not too much. He kisses her again and she runs her hands over the contours of his shoulders and back, and then down over his stomach. She wants to go lower – to find out what she’s dealing with and whether the small hands thing she noticed on their last date has any correlation, but it feels too soon. She’s nervous and anxious to find out, but she’ll need to wait a little longer.
Instead she wriggles out of her jeans, and then reaches down to undo his belt and top trouser button. As he takes them off, she catches a glimpse of the goods peeking out from the fly of his jersey shorts. A wave of relief. Everything seems to be in perfect working order, and correctly proportioned. He’s not as generously-sized as Adam, but then Adam turned out to be a selfish cunt. Maybe being slightly less blessed in that department will mean Josh will try a little harder to compensate. Maybe this expert in geology will make her bedrock after all. (Don’t worry, I’ll see myself out).
Naked now, they play around for a bit, all awkwardness and nerves entirely forgotten. And then Josh, ever so polite as always, asks: “Do you want me to fuck you now?”
“Ha ha, it’d be a bit weird if I said no now, wouldn’t it?” Lucy grins.
And so he does. After the luxury of Adam’s, um, generosity, Josh feels a little stingy, like when you go for dinner starving hungry, mouth already watering in anticipation of a huge meal, and instead you get served a slightly underwhelming portion. But the food is still absolutely delicious nonetheless, and maybe it’s better to have a little bit less and really enjoy it properly anyway.
Which she does, for a while, and then she starts to get a bit bored. This is all well and good, but there’s only so much lying on your back being pounded a girl can take. Is he not turned on enough? Or is he holding of for her. She decides she’d better let him know.
“I won’t come like this, I’m sorry.
“Not so far in my life, no.”
“Oh. Ok. What does work?”
Great question, Josh, thanks for asking.
“Fingers or tongue. Ideally the latter.”
Unlike Adam, Josh doesn’t need to be told twice. And like the good geographer he is, he has no problem finding his way down south. Though sadly his explorer tendencies mean he’s not very good at picking one spot and sticking with it, and his short beard is a little scratchy which means Lucy keeps losing her focus, but with a few directions and lot of concentration she gets there in the end. The earth doesn’t move, but it’s perfectly serviceable.
His job done, Josh picks up where he left off before. Though now, of course, Lucy doesn’t want to kiss him. She knows where his beard has been. FUCKING BEARDS! She turns her head to the side and lets him carry on; enjoying the feeling of having warm skin against hers, a toned male body on top of her, a pulsating between her legs. Josh seems to be enjoying himself too, at least, he keeps making gasping noises like he’s nearly there, but doesn’t seem to quite make it.
“You ok?” she asks him after a while.
“I’m gonna come soon,” he tells her.
“That’s ok, you can.”
“But I don’t want to yet.”
“You’re a bit unusual. Lots of guys are more about the destination than the journey, I’ve found.”
Lucy’s happy to let him carry on for a bit longer, but the condom is starting to chafe now, so she does rather wish he would just hurry up and finish. But he doesn’t. Instead he just stops and rolls off her.
“What about your, um, destination?” she asks.
“That’s ok,” he replies.
They lie side by side. Lucy’s mind goes into overdrive. What’s the matter? He seemed fine before, but clearly something is off. Is it her? Did she do something wrong? Does he not fancy her enough? Is there something she should’ve done but didn’t? Something she did do but shouldn’t have? Arghhhhh!! It’s all too stressful and confusing!
The only thing she can do is see if she can help out another way, so she begins to run her hand over his chest and stomach and he starts kissing her again.
She kisses him back: neck, shoulders, chest. He smells lovely: not of any kind of deodorant or aftershave, but just of boy, and it’s delicious. Lucy’s relived – it’s so important that you like the other person’s natural smell. In fact she once read about a dating event where people brought their unwashed t-shirts in a bag and all the daters went round sniffing the bags and deciding which ones they liked the smell of. Could work, thinks Lucy, maybe she should give it a try some day. She’s just about ready to try anything at this stage though, to be fair.
They carry on kissing and Lucy moves her hand downwards and starts rubbing and stroking, which immediately has the desired effect. He springs back to life, his breathing quickens, and finally things appear to be moving forward. But then, again, he stops her.
“You ok?” she asks again.
“I’m great, but I’m gonna come.”
“That’s ok, honestly!” she tells him. Yes, Josh, it’s fine! FFS! Just do it already, it’s getting late!
She carries on where she left off, and finally he relaxes, turns his face away from her and lets go. With a huge gasp, like an active volcano, he erupts all over her hand and arm, and his stomach. Lucy tries not to wince at the mess on her nice clean white sheets. She counts to 20 for politeness’ sake, and then reaches for a tissue from the bedside table and begins to clean up.
“Wow!” he says. “I just totally lost all control in my face there! That happens sometimes, but it’s never happened before from a hand job.”
Lucy hopes this means she’s getting an A grade for her first private geography lesson.
They cuddle for a bit, but it’s late, and time to go to sleep. “Can I stay?” he asks?”
“Oh now I see…” she teases. “You’re only here because you need a place to crash! You can pitch your tent in the garden if you like?”
“Ha! No, a bed is fine, thanks. But which one? Should I sleep in the spare room?”
“Well… “ she hesitates, used to her own space. “I don’t sleep all that well with someone else in the bed, but it’s Sunday tomorrow, so you’re welcome to stay. What would you prefer?”
“No, it’s fine. The spare room is fine.”
He gives her another quick squeeze and takes himself off to bed.
Lucy’s woken the next morning by the sound of the bathroom door closing. She lies in bed, waiting and listening, thrilled by the rare thought of a sexy man walking around her flat and already excited about the possibility of morning sex. She hopes she’ll get some this time, unlike what happened with stupid boring Adam.
He comes out of the bathroom, and – hurrah! – knocks gently at her door. “Hello?” she calls.
“Are you available for morning cuddles?” he asks, oh-so-polite as always.
Well yes of course she bloody is. He gets into bed with her and kisses her, their bodies both warm from sleep. Being naked with a man in this bed is just the BEST THING EVER, thinks Lucy. I really must get more of this.
She’s paranoid though, about no make up, bed hair, and morning breath. Does she look and smell like a dustbin? Only one way to be sure…
“Have I got terrible breath,” she asks? “It’s ok, you can tell me, I’ll go brush my teeth.”
He gives her an exploratory kiss.
“No, it’s fine. You’re fine.”
He kisses her properly then, and pretty soon hands and mouths are everywhere, and Lucy finally gets the morning sex she’s been longing for for fucking months.
She looks up at him on top of her and is amazed yet again at the intense blue of his eyes. “Your eyes are incredible, she tells him. You’re definitely the sexiest Geography Teacher I’ve ever met.”
“How many have you met?” he asks.
“I bet they were all really old though.”
“What, you mean like, 40…?”
As punishment for her insubordination he fucks her harder, this geography teacher really finding his way now.
“Ooohh, Mr Williams!” she gasps with a cheeky smile. “If your students could see you now…!”
“God! Don’t call me that!”
“I bet a few of the girls in your class would love to be where I am right now. I’m sure tonnes of them have crushes on the sexy Mr Williams.”
“Shut up, woman,” he commands, and pins her hands to the bed, rocking her like an earthquake until, with a final bang, the tectonics subside.
Afterwards he puts an arm round her, pulls her into him, and nuzzles and kisses her while finishing the job with one finger. This time he’s able to find the correct location without a map and stay there, and he leads her up to the edge and over it in no time at all.
So quick, in fact, that he can’t believe it. “Was that a fake orgasm?” he asks.
“Haha no! Did it sound like one?”
Lucy would never fake an orgasm. She really doesn’t see the point.
They lie together. Lucy strokes and squeezes his butt and thigh – enjoying his smooth firmness.
“You have a nice body,” she tells him. “Zero body fat!”
“Are you sizing me up like a pork chop?” He laughs.
“I’m just appreciating…”
“Well you have a nice body too, for what it’s worth.”
She curls her lip. “I reckon I could stand to lose few pounds, but yeah I guess it’s not a total disaster.”
“No I agree,” he shrugs. “Not a total disaster.”
“That’s a terrible compliment!” She slaps him playfully.
They get dressed and Lucy makes breakfast from whatever she can find in the fridge, which turns out to be eggs on toast with mushrooms and hash browns, and then Josh needs to go. “Got stuff to do,” he says.
“Yeah, me too,” she agrees, even though this is pretty much a total lie, and she’d gladly have him stick around all day.
Afterwards, Lucy lies in bed, propped up on a pillow, staring at the wardrobes. She feels neither elated, nor dejected, just oddly flat. Surely this is not the way a girl should feel after getting banged enthusiastically by an attractive man?
Next time: Josh invites himself over again.