Lucy Overthinks… Height

Lucy’s friend Geeta recently got married to Phil and has posted the wedding photos on Facebook.

Lucy met Geeta and Phil while travelling.  Lucy thought they were very nice individually, but finds them incredibly annoying as a couple because Geeta is about 5 feet tall and Phil is 6 foot 5.

Lucy, who is pushing 5 foot 9 (or 6 foot in heels), thinks finding a nice man is hard enough without all the available tall men being snapped up by the tiny women.  She also feels sorry for all the vertically-challenged single men, who can’t find a nice petite girl because they’ve all been taken by the tall guys.

Geeta should pick on someone her own size, she fumes.  Phil should be with me instead.  We’d look so much better in photographs.

Lucy looks at the wedding photos.  In one, the couple are kissing on the steps of the church.  But while Geeta is standing on the top step, Phil is on the bottom step.

They look ridiculous, she rages. There should be a law against this sort of thing. Maybe I should start a campaign.

In another photo, the couple are holding hands and walking towards the camera while friends throw confetti.   Phil looks like a grown man while Geeta looks like a little girl.

They don’t look like husband and wife, she seethes. They look like father and daughter.   It’s kind of creepy.  I wonder if Phil has secret paedophile tendencies?

She decides she doesn’t fancy him any more.

Lucy finds it infuriating how lots of guys don’t give their height in their online profiles.  How is a girl supposed to know if a man is going to be able to enfold her in his big strong arms if she doesn’t know how tall he is?  Photos can be deceptive.   Some men only have headshots, or stand next to small things to make themselves look taller.  It’s a minefield.

Lucy assumes the ones that don’t give their stats are hiding a height deficiency, and swipes left automatically.  She’s certain that any guy who is over 6 foot would know that’s an advantage and would brag about it.   Though many who do say how tall they are seem quite pissed off about having to do so.  “6’2, because it seems to be important here.” “6’1, if it matters,” they grumble.

Lucy is fairly certain they’re only pretending to be annoyed.

Lucy once went on a date with a man who didn’t reveal his height and turned out to be about three inches shorter than her.  When she arrived he was perched on a bar stool and didn’t get up.  He remained there for the whole date and it was only when he hopped down at the end to say goodbye that she realised he was so little.  The kiss goodbye was rather awkward.   Lucy felt like The Hulk.

Now she always asks.  But some guys seem to find the question offensive.  One told her he thought it was akin to asking a woman her dress size.  Lucy thinks that’s unfair.  You can totally see if someone’s overweight from photos.

She wonders if she should post some pictures of herself standing next to wide things.



    • Lucy
      29th June 2018 / 8:17 pm

      Thanks Jodie! 🙂

  1. Scientist dates
    31st August 2018 / 3:48 pm

    Many women post photos so you can’t tell if they’re overweight. I think the the dress size comment is fair. Mentioning women’s weight on twitter is like releasing an atom bomb!

  2. Sparks
    9th September 2018 / 10:38 am

    I just found your blog today and you’re hilarious. I’m almost 5’9 too and I completely get that thing about guys and heights on dating apps. It’s ridiculous! If you’re short you should just admit it geez.

    • Lucy
      9th September 2018 / 11:54 am

      What a lovely thing to say, thank you! Yes it is really frustrating. I know we can’t help who we’re attracted to, but sometimes it does seem ridiculous, especially when I meet very small girls who insist they will only date men over 6 foot!

  3. 8th December 2018 / 2:15 am

    I saw a pic of a man on Bumble today holding a German Shepard in the palm of his hand. It was like something from Honey, I Shrunk The Kids!! 😂😂

    • Lucy
      8th December 2018 / 1:07 pm

      Huh? What’s the point of that?! Weird.

  4. Anonymous
    17th May 2019 / 1:47 pm

    Hahahah really enjoying the humour that you spread throughout your posts!

    • Lucy
      18th May 2019 / 8:52 am

      Thank you 🙂

  5. Anonymous
    1st July 2019 / 5:29 pm

    Have just started reading this blog as I navigate the treacherous waters of Tinder. This article made me laugh. I’m quite a petite woman, 5′ 5″, not heightist, and only expect the man to be taller than me in heels – so anything between 5’7″ and 6 ft works. Any taller just makes me feel like a child. However, I’ve been on a few dates with guys who were either exactly my height or shorter! I tried to be open minded and dated one guy who was 5′ 3″ for a bit, but sex with him was like going at it with a horny hobbit…And I had to bid adios when i realised his hands were smaller than mine. So I spend ages trying to work out a guys height through photos, having been burned a few times. However, I have now decided it’s acceptable to ask before I meet them, as life is too short (pun intended) to waste on dead end dates.

    • Lucy
      5th July 2019 / 10:08 am

      Haha ‘horny hobbit’ did make me laugh! Yeah, I do the trying to guess the height thing too! Fact is, though, that guys over 5’10 or so always put their height, guys who don’t put their height are usually short. So either I just swipe left if they don’t say their height, or I ask. Very politely. I also put my height in my profile and say ‘please be taller’ but I think a lot of guys don’t read profiles…

  6. Kerry
    7th July 2019 / 8:30 pm

    I always like my men taller than me, i’m 5ft 6 and i remember my first steady boyfriend only being 5ft and when i introduced him to her she said it looked like i dragging round a naughty school boy.

    • Lucy
      7th July 2019 / 11:17 pm

      Ohhh gosh I don’t think I could date a man 6 inches shorter than me, I’d feel like a bloody heffalump!

  7. James
    22nd August 2020 / 1:28 am

    I’m all in favour of men having to state their height accurately the day women have to state their bust size accurately on dating sites. Or would that requirement cause a riot? These days women apparently have carte blanche to be crude about men, but not vice-versa.

    • Charlotte
      11th January 2021 / 4:27 am

      I think men will still date short women with small boobs whereas they won’t date tall women with whatever boobs. Let’s face it, most men want tiny women shorter than them like women want taller men.

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