The Story So Far

In 2005, back when the internet was still fairly new and smartphones were but a twinkle in Steve Jobs’ eye, Lucy was 26, single, and terrible with men.

Guys she fancied never seemed to fancy her back, and the guys that fancied her were all rubbish. In her whole adult life she’d only ever had one boyfriend, and that ended badly when he decided he was in love with his best mate (who was female, thankfully, but that doesn’t make it much better).

So a friend suggested she try online dating.

Back then, online dating was still mostly the preserve of geeks and weirdos.  But Lucy’s friend was doing it, and she wasn’t all that weird, so Lucy decided to give it a go.

Over the course of the next few years she met dozens of men, including:

– The guy with the incredible blue eyes but who was a bit odd and got very drunk on the date.  When he asked if they could meet again Lucy said no.  So then he asked if he could come back to her place for sex anyway.

– The famous TV presenter’s son who had only headshots on his profile.  When he turned up on the date, he had the biggest gut Lucy had ever seen close up. She spent an hour squished up against it in a crowded bar before fleeing.

– The guy who gesticulated so widely when speaking that he sent a passing waitress and her tray of drinks flying across the room.

– The chef who decided to take Lucy on a date to an art exhibition outside London. Lucy was rather unnerved to find herself getting on a train with a total stranger with no clue where she was going.  (They ended up going out for 7 months, so it was ok in the end).

– The bloke who turned out to be a friend of a friend.  He hadn’t told his mates that he was doing online dating, and Lucy inadvertently ‘outed’ him.

Eventually, at the age of 30, she met The Ex on Match.com. He bowled her over on the first date and by date four they were a couple.  The relationship lasted five years before The Ex decided he fancied a girl from work rather more, and within two weeks he, and all his stuff, were gone.

Lucy found herself thrown back out into a very different world.  Most of her friends were now married with babies.  She herself was no longer a catch, but (whisper it) over 35, and therefore pretty much undateable.  And smartphones and dating apps had been invented, with swiping and ghosting and all sorts of confusing behaviours.  The relatively calm dating pool had become shark-infested waters.

But Lucy’s never been one to shy away from a challenge.  So she held her nose and jumped back in. Four years on and she’s still swimming, and there are still plenty of sharks circling, but she’s much better at dealing with it all now. She’s not drowning nearly quite so much, and sometimes she even kind of enjoys the exercise. Though she’s still hoping for a lifeguard (or possibly a merman) to come and rescue her. She just wishes he’d hurry the fuck up.

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7 Comments

  1. 13th January 2019 / 3:32 pm

    Hi Lucy! Ive been reading your blogs and i totally can relate to your stories. Love it! Thumbs up! I too have gone through multiple dates, from one guy to another and being the tinderella. One question to ask do you ever feel discouraged or insecure about the situation because I do a lot of times! Probably can you share how do you deal with those feelings when you are alone and not out on date? Thank you!

    • Lucy
      Author
      14th January 2019 / 9:35 pm

      Hello! I’m so pleased you like the blog – thank you so much for taking the time to comment!
      That’s an interesting question – but yes, of course I do sometimes feel insecure. It’s not so much that I feel worried about my desirability, because fortunately I still get a few matches, and sometimes guys make it clear that they fancy me. But I do worry that there might be something wrong with me, in that I so rarely meet anyone I fancy back, and on the rare occasions that I do they are always taken. So I worry either that all the good men are taken, or that I may be too picky, or that I may only be attracted to unavailable men.
      As for how I deal with it? Well I go through highs and lows. It can be really depressing when you get your hopes up about someone and then it doesn’t work out – normally in that case I have a little cry, and vent to my friends or on Twitter (or both), and then I tell myself that he wasn’t right for me anyway, and so I pick myself up and start again. Always remember that you’re not alone, dating is hard, and there are definitely plenty of advantages to being single. So try to enjoy it!

      • 18th January 2019 / 2:48 am

        Hahah again, I totally can relate to you. 100%. Cheers and high 5. I even wondered whether I should change my preference of guys because no matter how hard I tried, it seems the guy I fancy, does not fancy me back or flaky or simply a jerk. And the guy I did not fancy, fancied me. And the journey continues…

        Felt and relate the highs and lows too. Those first dates that made me hyped and happy, but right after the second date I lost it all. Wondered if I’m freaking weird.

        Anyways, thanks! Really appreciate you replying to my comment. It’s really comforting and warming to find someone that despite being a world away from where I am (Thank God for the internet), able to share my frustration that my friends can’t understand. (Most my friends are happily attached or happily single. I’m the only dating veteran in the group)

        I am really looking forward to see how Lucy’s story will end up and how is the guy Lucy gonna end up with will be looked like 😉

        Cheers again to more dates and unending perseverance.

        • Lucy
          Author
          19th January 2019 / 12:32 pm

          Thank you my friend. You are most certainly not alone. Love and heartbreak are the same in every country and in every culture. It’s just how we go about it that’s different! I definitely feel for you being the only single one, but I do hope you find your person soon xx

  2. 5th March 2019 / 12:16 pm

    And here we go, my way up, to catch up

  3. Anonymous
    17th May 2019 / 1:00 pm

    Loving you blog – dating is so much funner when you can share the disaster stories!

    • Lucy
      Author
      18th May 2019 / 8:52 am

      Thanks, I agree!

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Names and some minor details have been changed to protect the innocent. And sometimes the guilty.
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