The Online Dating Virgin (Part 1)

Lucy has matched with Daniel.  Daniel is 45, has brown hair, and looks a bit like David Tennant.  Lucy is deliriously in love with David Tennant.  She even took up watching Doctor Who, and sat through dozens of ridiculous episodes, because of him.  (So she was bloody relieved when he…

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Blast from the past

Blast from the past

Lucy’s matched with Mark from Bumble. Mark appears to be very handsome but it’s hard to be sure as he only has two photos.  One is a head and shoulders shot with just blue sky behind.  The other is the same photo, only zoomed in. Lucy wonders if Mark has… View Post
Online d(eb)ating (Part 2)

Online d(eb)ating (Part 2)

Lucy has been asked on a date by Steve.  To read how this happened, click here. Steve initially told Lucy he didn’t find her attractive, and only swiped right on her profile because he swipes right on everyone and then decides later if he likes them or not. In other… View Post
Online d(eb)ating

Online d(eb)ating

After a series of unsuccessful attempts to meet a nice guy on Bumble, Lucy decides to try something new.  So she signs up to Happn, the app that tries to pair you up with people you’ve crossed paths with. She thinks the idea of fate is pretty much a load… View Post
Still not down with the kids

Still not down with the kids

Lucy’s been on one date with Vincent, the handsomest man she has ever been out with.  It wasn’t exactly a roaring success.  It turns out Vincent has a few rather controversial opinions.  To find out what they were, click here. Having taken exception to some of these opinions on the… View Post
Not down with the kids

Not down with the kids

Lucy goes on a date with Vincent, a commodities trader in the City.  Lucy already knows from his profile that he’s a handsome guy, but in a startling break from the usual in-the-flesh disappointment, Vincent’s photos actually don’t do him justice.  In real life he is possibly the best-looking man… View Post
Radio Ga Ga, Part 4 – Chasing

Radio Ga Ga, Part 4 – Chasing

After what seemed like a never-ending dry spell which looked like it would only end when our heroine shrivelled up and died from lack of human contact, Lucy has finally had sex with Peter, who works in radio. (To read all about it, click here.) He texts her the next… View Post
Radio Ga Ga, Part 3 – Naked

Radio Ga Ga, Part 3 – Naked

Lucy’s had two dates with Peter, whom she met on Bumble. (To catch up on the last one, click here). Peter is attractive and a great kisser, but it’s clear he’s only interested in one thing.  Lucy feels she ought to be outraged by this, but it’s been months since… View Post
Radio Ga Ga, Part 2 – Bravery

Radio Ga Ga, Part 2 – Bravery

It’s late May, and a sunny bank holiday weekend is looming.  Because of the weather Lucy has epilated her legs and painted her toenails, so now she wants to put the pain and effort to good use.  She needs to find a date. She decides to message Peter, the radio… View Post
Moving to Brighton

Moving to Brighton

Lucy has got a job in Brighton and is moving there for a few months. She decides to rent out her flat while she’s away. A businessman in a suit comes to see it. He’s in his 50s, married, and still has hair.  Lucy finds him strangely attractive. Lucy thinks… View Post
These charming men

These charming men

Here are the top three most inappropriate messages Lucy’s received in the last month from men she’s never even met… 3. Just read an article which says that 85% of women are uncomfortable with their s*xuality – u look like a nerdy princess to me so i’m guessing you’re in… View Post
Lucy Overthinks… Height

Lucy Overthinks… Height

Lucy’s friend Geeta recently got married to Phil and has posted the wedding photos on Facebook. Lucy met Geeta and Phil while travelling.  Lucy thought they were very nice individually, but finds them incredibly annoying as a couple because Geeta is about 5 feet tall and Phil is 6 foot… View Post
Radio Ga Ga, Part 1 – Kiss

Radio Ga Ga, Part 1 – Kiss

Lucy discovers Peter on Bumble.  He has a great smile and an interesting job in radio.  Lucy is also happy to find that unlike at least half of the lazy fucks on the app, Peter has actually managed to find time in his busy and important life to write a few… View Post
Names and some minor details have been changed to protect the innocent. And sometimes the guilty.