Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, way back when Lucy was young, sweet and innocent, and had only slept with about four people, and was full of hope and optimism, and not at all jaded by the dating cesspit, and back in the dark ages when smartphones…View Post
It’s the day of Lucy’s second date with Barry, who she matched with on Bumble. Barry’s divorced with a daughter, and makes moronic grammatical errors, but he’s cheeky and does A-grade banter so Lucy’s decided to forgive these misdemeanours and see whether the spark might ignite into something more exciting.…View Post
Lucy has just been on a date with Barry from West London, with whom she got drunk and then made out behind a bus stop like she’s a student all over again. Though to be fair, when Lucy was a student she was so crap with men that she almost never…View Post
Lucy has a date with Barry from Bumble. (If you missed it, catch up on the story here). Barry is handsome and clever, and the pre-date text banter has been so hilariously brilliant that Lucy’s practically in love with the man already. In spite of the fact that they’ve yet…View Post
We left the story of Lucy and Amir at the point where Amir, who until last year had just been Lucy’s good friend, had asked her out on a date and then cancelled it and vanished. If none of this is making any sense, you’d better catch up first. Here’s…View Post
Lucy has been having a promising flirtation with her charming, handsome and funny friend Amir. To read what happened last time, click here. Lucy and Amir have been mates for over 5 years, but since he broke up with his partner last Christmas their friendship has become increasingly flirty. Amir…View Post
Lucy’s had three dates with Peter who works in radio. (To read from the beginning, click here.) The third date wasn’t really a date – more an entirely unapologetic and surprisingly acrobatic sex session, after which he vanished completely into thin air. Lucy was just about start googling for news…View Post
Peter, the radio guy who slept with Lucy and then disappeared, has resurfaced. He wants to know if Lucy is free to meet up this Saturday. It’s a tale as old as time, she reflects. No sooner have you decided not to bother with a guy any more, he starts…View Post
Lucy has a date with Daniel, who does the same job as her. Lucy likes Daniel because in his photos he looks like David Tennant. Not that Lucy is shallow or anything. Daniel is divorced, and this is his first ever online date. Lucy’s determined to be so impressively witty…View Post
Lucy has matched with Daniel. Daniel is 45, has brown hair, and looks a bit like David Tennant. Lucy is deliriously in love with David Tennant. She even took up watching Doctor Who, and sat through dozens of ridiculous episodes, because of him. (So she was bloody relieved when he…View Post
Lucy’s matched with Mark from Bumble. Mark appears to be very handsome but it’s hard to be sure as he only has two photos. One is a head and shoulders shot with just blue sky behind. The other is the same photo, only zoomed in. Lucy wonders if Mark has…View Post
Lucy’s been on one date with Vincent, the handsomest man she has ever been out with. It wasn’t exactly a roaring success. It turns out Vincent has a few rather controversial opinions. To find out what they were, click here. Having taken exception to some of these opinions on the…View Post
Lucy goes on a date with Vincent, a commodities trader in the City. Lucy already knows from his profile that he’s a handsome guy, but in a startling break from the usual in-the-flesh disappointment, Vincent’s photos actually don’t do him justice. In real life he is possibly the best-looking man…View Post
After what seemed like a never-ending dry spell which looked like it would only end when our heroine shrivelled up and died from lack of human contact, Lucy has finally had sex with Peter, who works in radio. (To read all about it, click here.) He texts her the next…View Post
